At a public university with around 30,000 students, there is going to be parties, and lots of them. If you want to party, you can, and i even encourage you to. You want to party on a monday night? Yeah, you can. You want to party at 3 oclock on a wednesday? Sure. But, the primary parties are thrown on thursday, friday, and saturday nights.
Parties are fun. The parties here are crazy. But the shocking thing about college parties that is different from your high school parties is what goes on before. No one shows up to a party sober anymore. One friday night, my friends took me to a house party. It was fine, but it was not going to be our final destination (not the horror movie-i hate scary movies). This was what they called a pre-gaming party. In college, you dont just go to a party. No. You actually go to a before party to drink, so you can arrive at the real party already drunk. This may seem confusing to some people, like myself, and probably to other countries who already think that Americans are stupid, because we are.
So like i said, i found myself in this situation, at a party, drinking simply to get drunk, go to another party, and get more drunk. The before party went something like myself taking 8 consecutive shots and chugging a strawberrita. We then walked to the real party. By this time i was really feeling it. I usually describe by level of drunkedness on a scale of my level of sociableness. In other words, I am very shy, especially when it comes to parties, or just being in large crowds in general. So if i am really talkative and easily talk to strangers, I am very drunk. If i am still shy and not wanting to speak to anyone, i am still pretty sober and generally nervous. In the words of Natasha Bedingfield, i really "release my inhibitions, and feel the rain on my skin" when i am drunk. So this party was great: I was talking to people that I didnt know and drinking beer, (lots of it) which i typically hate. I surprised myself and was actually having a great time.
I remember starting a debate, one of my favorite pastimes. Religion was the topic of the night. I think i yelled "i love jesus" a few too many times, seeing as it was my thesis, body paragraph, and conclusion for my side of the argument. I think what i was trying to get at was that i dont care what religion you are, what you practice, or who your God is. If you believe in Jesus and have a personal relationship with your God, you are going to make it to the gates of heaven. Ok enough with the heavy stuff. It was my first keg party of college, and i liked it.
So I have the worlds smallest bladder when i am drinking. I literally have to pee every 20 minutes once i break the seal. I decide to go to the bathroom, of course this is a shitty house with a bathroom that has a door that doesnt lock. So Im peeing and cant feel my body (i usually go numb when i drink-i guess thats normal?). I stand up and in the distance hear a splash of some sort. Right when i am about to flush the toilet, i see something in the back of it. I think to myself, well i dont remember pooping, so what the hell is that? I decided to reach into the toilet, and low and behold, i pull a phone out of the toilet. I remember turning it over, recognizing the phone case, and then eventually deciding, that yes, this was indeed mine. I couldnt believe it. My iphone fell into the toilet. awesome. I was not in the right state of mind to handle this. I wrapped it in a towel and left the bathroom. I dont remember much about the rest of the night until the walk home. A girl decided i was ready to leave (probably a good call). So we start walking home, and somehow on one of the biggest college campuses in the country, i run into my brother and all of our friends i was supposed to hang out with that night. I can remember throwing my shoes at them and i think some conversation was exchanged. Its not that i dont remember the night before after i drink. I just genuinely have a horrible memory. drunk or not, i sometimes dont remember things that happened just a day before. I somehow made it home, threw up in the toilet a few times, and went to bed. I didnt even make it to 1 am.
And that was my first college party. I tell this story cause its funny but mainly because you should learn from my mistakes:
1) DO NOT LEAVE YOUR IPHONE IN THE YOUR BACK POCKET OF YOUR JEANS
2) Dont throw your shoes, you may not get them back
3) Do not leave your iphone in the back pocket of your jeans
P.S. My phone still works, but my shoes were never seen again
So here's to the parties, the alcohol, and the journey.
This is real life-i picture messaged this to my mom right before i dropped my phone in the toilet
So yeah, good night.
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