Shit Roomie Number 1 Says Memoirs

Shit Roomie Number 1 Says

This will be a continuous blog post, and will be updated as often as Roommate Number 1 says shit-which will inevitably be as often as I am with her.  I will post the quote, followed by a brief explanation if i think it is necessary.  Enjoy...

1.     "Oh my noodies are finished cooking!"

-       Now this is how Roommate Number 1 refers to her noodles.  She calls them noodies.  Not only does this make her sound like a 4 year old, I always think she is referring to “nudies,” which is just not her style.

2.     “Sour Dreams!”

-       Instead of the popular phrase “sweet dreams,” Roommate Number 1 tells me to have sour dreams every night before I go to bed.  This is usually followed by a round of hysterical laughter because she thinks she has just come up with the most brilliant joke ever…but she has not.

3.     “My mom is going back to school right now to get her degree.  She’s an engineer right now.  She’s a construction worker.”

-       This one always confuses me.  I have asked Roommate Number 1 multiple times what her mom does just to make sure she understands the question, and she always says she is an engineer and a construction worker.  Maybe I am wrong but I don’t know how those go together.  And I don’t know why you would go back to school if you already have a degree in engineering. I just don’t know.

4.     “Oh that’s stupid.”

-       This is Roommate Number One’s catch phrase.  She uses it to describe anything that she deems inappropriate or “bad.”  She lives in a fantasy world, where everything is rainbows and happy.  If something inappropriate from the real world comes into her view, she chooses to ignore it and pass it off as “stupid,” because it doesn’t exist in her world. 

5.     “I used to be a bad kid; I used to listen to rap music.”

-       What?

6.     “I would rather pick up trash at the park with the youth group than tailgate with all of you.”

-       This came up a few weeks ago when we were all getting ready for the tailgate for a big game.  Roommate Number 1 proclaimed she would rather do park service than hang around and tailgate with the rest of the house.  She also added, “I can’t be around drunk people.”  We tried to explain she would not be pressured to drink AT ALL but she would not have any of it.

Oh and did I mention she calls me "Sa-wa".......